I used to be a single mom.
For 2 years (until I met my husband) I did it by myself. I did it all. I was mom and dad.
I wasn’t just a single mom, I was the only parent.
And even though it was hard, I wouldn’t have changed a thing. Sure, I would’ve loved to have brought my daughter into this world with 2 parents, married, and happy, but that’s far from how it worked out. And I’ll never forget those days. They were some of the happiest, and some of the hardest.
Single moms, you are in the trenches.
You are out there, raising babies and earning income and doing the job of two parents, most days. You’re running here and running there and in between the chaos and madness, you’re still seeking the love that you so deserve.
Did you hear me?
“The love that you DESERVE.”
But, it’s hard. And it seems like it never works out, and even when that flame is lit by someone, it’s quickly blown out by the harsh reality that comes with being a single mom. Because the person coming into your life can’t be just anyone. He can’t be mediocre. He can’t be sub-par. Because, it’s not just your life that he is entering- it is your child’s life, too.
And no matter how down on yourself you may feel, at the end of the day, you are always aware of your child’s worth. You may undervalue yourself, but you always know that your child deserves the most amazing person in their life. There’s never any doubt about that.
But, here’s the problem with dating as a single mom- you’ve already found the love of your life.
You’ve already experienced the feeling of unconditional love. You’ve already learned what it means to love someone beyond measure. And no matter how great a man could be, he could never compare to that feeling. He can never match the love you have for your child.
I’ve been in your shoes and I know your struggles all too well. Being a single mom is sometimes like wearing a scarlet letter and on holiday’s like Valentine’s Day, it can be lonely and depressing. Don’t let other people’s Facebook highlight reel discredit the love that you have on this Valentine’s Day.
While you see your friends post their Valentine’s Day presents from their spouses, post your macaroni necklace with pride. Post your handprint art with confidence, knowing that you already have it all.
Anything more is just a bonus.
Single mama’s, I want to encourage you to change your mindset this Valentine’s Day, because, though you’re still waiting on an amazing man to enter your life, you are not without love and I want to remind you of that. That is what Valentine’s Day is all about.
Single mama’s, don’t measure your worthiness by your relationship status.
Don’t measure your happiness by comparing your own to others.
Don’t forget that your day is coming.